Archive for the ‘Business Books’ Category

Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini describes the psychological process in people when they say yes and explains how these insights may be applied. While it was written as a business book, it also applies to teaching and everyday life. Be sure to put a copy in your professional development library.

1. Levers of Influence: (Power) Tools of the Trade

• Animals and people both have automatic behaviors that are set off by a single stimulus. For example, turkey mothers will care for an inanimate object if it makes the cheap sound of a baby turkey. Likewise, humans are much more likely to do a favor for a stranger if they are given a reason starting with the word because. Humans also think that expensive things are good as the word cheap is seen as inferior rather than inexpensive. Believing an expert is another automatic behavior. Life is complex and without our automatic rules of thumb, we wouldn’t get much done. It’s important, however, to realize when we have the time and the need to engage in more complex thinking.
• The contrast principle tells us that how we perceive something depends in part on things we have recently perceived. When two hands placed respectively in hot and cold water are moved to room temperature water, the one that was in hot water feels cold and the one that was in cold water feels hot. Also, seeing highly sexually attractive people on TV may make our spouses seem less attractive. There are several other examples here dealing with selling strategies.

2. Reciprocation: The Old Give and Take

• A basic norm of human culture is the obligation to somehow repay a person who gives or does something for you. Such future obligations often lead to continuing relationships. People can use this to their advantage by giving something before asking for something. Politicians do this and they are also easy to buy. So are scientists.
• People can also ask for a more extreme initial concession prior to lowering the ask. This often works a we often see the lesser obligation preferable to the greater one. The trick is to make your first offer just high enough. This usually makes one feel more responsible and satisfied. If someone gives you something for free, be ready for them to ask for something. Consider denying these requests.

3. Liking: The Friendly Thief

• We are more likely to say yes to someone we like. People who want something are therefore likely to do things to increase their likability. Being physically attractive is one way to increase likability. (Doug: This suggests that it’s a good idea to bet fit, well groomed, and well attired. In other words, dress for success.) We are also more likely to like people who are like us. Good salespeople also use this to their advantage. Associating something with someone famous has been shown to work.
• Praise is also used to increase likability. Giving praise to a third party that you know will get back to the person your are praising is effective. You can also use praise to give a person a reputation to live up to. Repeated contact in positive situations helps. Persian curriers knew that baring bad news was risky and even life threatening as the ancient Persians did kill the messenger. In all occasions associate yourself with as many good things as possible and visa versa. We won, they lost. Be alert for situations where you are liking someone more than would be expected. In such cases separate your feelings about the requester from the offer itself.

Share this:

Can You Learn to Be Lucky? Why Some People Seem to Win More Often Than Others by Karla Staff explains in detail how you can increase your chances of being lucky and therefore successful. We all experience good luck and bad luck as we go through life, but with Karla’s help, we can make good luck more likely and take better advantage of it, and better survive and learn from our bad luck. This book belongs in every professional learning library.

Introduction

• This book is about navigating life’s hidden patterns. While there is no way to account for every variable influencing our situation, this doesn’t make the world entirely unpredictable. We need to see the world as understandable and manageable. If you feel unsure about your ability to handle the future, anxiety will follow. Regardless of your merit, frugality, and faith, elements of chance will always be part of your life. This is where luck comes in. A bias toward action, however, can help as doing nothing can lead to learned helplessness. You can’t stumble on to something good by sitting down.

1. Best in Show: Why Lucky Timing Is out of Our Hands

• Studies show that your chances of winning a subjectively scored event are better if you are judged near the end. They also show that prisoners get the best deals if they are judged right after lunch or a break. If you are part of a contest or are interviewing for a job, do what you can to be near the end of the process. Then do what you can to be memorable and emphasize what makes you special or unique. Frame losses as learning experiences and don’t take them personally. And if you want to score with the gender of your choice at a bar, stay until closing time.

2. The Charlie Brewer Principle: How That Warm, Fuzzy Feeling Leads to Luck

• The focus is Charlie Brewer whose father and grandfather were star quarterbacks. Is it any wonder that the coach looked to him to be his next quarterback? If you have some advantage due to your family’s circumstances be sure to leverage it. However, if you are rich and good looking you might get away with being a dick, but it’s not a good strategy in the long run. Charlie’s story deals with confirmation bias. This is a concept you need to understand on the road to luck.
• The other big idea here is availability. By consistently showing up you increase your chances to be lucky. If you are always there you will seem safe, which correlates with luck. The more people see you the more they are likely to like you as long as you are nice. Proximity counts. People who live on the bottom floor have more friends. Kids who sit in the middle of the room are more popular. Your attire is very important. For example, women who show up in a nightclub dress are not likely to be seen as highly capable. Make a good first impression and know that it takes time and effort to build a good reputation.

3. Bitches in Glasses: The Occasionally Unlucky Side of Intuition

• We use our feelings to decide and rationalize our choices after the fact. There are things we can control like grooming, attire, facial expressions, posture, what we say, tone of voice, and body language. We have some control over our body shape and size. We have little control over the shape of our face and our height, and they both count for more than they should. Be sure to act in a friendly manner and smile when you meet someone. Act like you are happy to see them. This you can control and it will help make a good first impression.
• We tend to map traits from people we know on to people we meet who look similar. The feelings we currently feel also impact our impression of the people we are with. Women who don’t smile are judged more harshly than men who don’t smile. People with square jaws and wider faces are more likely to be promoted. Life is indeed unfair. What you can do is throw your hat into the ring every chance you get, use an easy-to-pronounce version of your name, and avoid edgy jokes and weird online IDs.

Share this:

The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward by Daniel Pink deals with the power we can draw from dealing with our regrets in a thoughtful manner. Regrets deal with things you can control so you need to take action when possible to make things better and move on from things that can’t be fixed. Research shows that people who do this are healthier and happer. Thanks, Dan for this vital life lesson.

Part One. Regret Reclaimed – 1. The Life-Thwarting Nonsense of No Regrets

• Fron popular songs to literature to advice columns we hear over and over again about how successful people supposedly have no regrets. In this book, Pink shows not only that this is wrong-headed thinking, but when properly used, analysis of your regrets can serve to improve your life. We all have a portfolio of emotions and most of us try to have a bias in our lives for positive ones. That makes sense, but we also need to deal with negative emotions to help us avoid harm, be it physical or emotional. The purpose of this book is to show you how to use regret’s many strengths to make better decisions, perform better at work, and bring greater meaning to your life. Pink draws on his analysis of two massive surveys to accomplish this goal.

2. Why Regret is Human

• Regret is the unpleasant feeling associated with some action or inaction a person has taken which has led to a state of affairs that the person wishes were different. It is more understood as a process than a thing. As we mature, our brains naturally develop to experience regret. It is associated with the orbitofrontal cortex. People with lesions in this area typically do not experience regret. The same is true for people with Huntington’s and Parkinson’s disease. Reget is the most common negative emotion as things you regret are your own fault. They are things where you had control and constantly involve some comparison.

3. At Least’s and If Only’s

• These are two types of counterfactuals. When you think at least, you are thinking about how things could have been worse. When you think if only, you are thinking that an outcome could have been better if you had done something different. Most people engage in if only thinking much more than at least thinking. If only thinking degrades our feelings now, but it can improve our lives later. This is one way regret can help us do better tomorrow.

4. Why Regret Makes Us Better

• If you actively regret something you are not likely to do it again. A central finding is that regret can deepen persistence, which almost always elevates performance. Even thinking about other people’s regrets may confer a performance boost. Regret, however, does not always elevate performance. Lingering on regret for too long can have the opposite effect. Setbacks can supply fuel for future performance. Making mistakes and learning from them via regret is a path to growth.
• When it comes to things you regret it is key that you not wallow in them or dodge them altogether. Doing so will just make things worse. These feelings should result in thinking that results in future action that makes things better or avoids further pain. Think of this action as an evaluation that can be instructive. In short, if you make a mistake you need to ask yourself “what can I learn from it.” (Doug: This is a guiding principle for me.)

Share this: